#30Days30Layers, March 2020: Day 2 — Natural Response
Once upon a time, I got mad at you. I got mad at you for being mad at me.
You were mad at me, like you tended to be, simply because we didn’t share the same opinion. The same approach to things. I have learned to navigate a number of friendships — arguably, alliances — by accepting the fact that we don’t always agree, and we don’t have to always agree. It’s not about being on the same page every single time. It is about accepting that it’s okay to be on two totally different pages. To share two totally different perspectives.
That is where you and I have always differed.
For someone who claimed to know me so well, you didn’t seem to accept my approach to some things. My natural response to certain situations was vastly different to how you dealt with things. In many cases, I was nonchalant. I’ve never been the type of person to let people know the cards I hold… primarily because I learned the consequences of showing one’s cards. You, on the other hand, always leap before you look. You don’t consider the consequences. Your natural response in any given moment is to react first based on how you feel. Not about anyone else’s feelings. The casualties come later for you because the moment is always RIGHT NOW.
I did not agree with this approach to life. Why? Because I don’t like letting people know they got under my skin. I don’t like letting people know it’s that easy to get a reaction out of me. You, on the other hand, don’t care. I admire that, in a way — how fearless (or reckless) you can be so long as your point is made.
I didn’t agree with it, and many times, I made that plain. But although I didn’t agree with it, I tried to see your perspective. I tried to understand where you were coming from. I at least tried to see it from your side.
I was never afforded the same luxury. Instead, I didn’t have your back. Instead, I always made you the bad guy. Instead, I looked like a coward. All this, because my natural approach to life is to think about tomorrow before I ever act today. Or at least it was until last year.
Maybe you’re right. Maybe I am the bad guy. Maybe I could learn from you. Maybe if I dealt with things now, I would question my friends less later.
One thing for sure, though: at least you’ll never have to doubt that YOUR natural response makes people respect you less. I envy that.
**I’m attempting GG Renee’s “All The Many Layers” writing prompts for the month of March. You can find the complete list here.
